Monday, January 5, 2009

Tony's Nasty Bits

anthony bourdain the nasty bits
I love Anthony Bourdain, in as much as a heterosexual male can love another man that he has never met in person. Actually, I lie. I did meet him once, ever so briefly in front of Brasserie Les Halles, the wonderful French restaurant that Tony used to preside as Executive Chef and currently serves as "Chef-at-Large". I was in New York for a business meeting and had decided to turn the trip into an extended four-day weekend with my ex-girlfriend. As someone who had read every one of Bourdain's books and watched every episode of his first television series A Cook's Tour, I made it a mission to eat at least one meal at Brasserie Les Halles.

On the faithful day that we decided to go to the restaurant for a pre-shopping lunch, I had just stepped out of the cab on the opposite street from the restaurant when I noticed a tall, lanky figure exit the front of the building. It was Tony. He was stepping out for a quick smoke. Disregarding all personal safety and nearly shoving my ex onto the pavement, I sprinted pass oncoming traffic and like a Japanese tourist on speed, ran up to Tony with camera in hand and gleefully asked if he would mind taking a picture with me. He hesitated for a quick second, then smiled and said "sure", probably cutting me some slack since my Asian brethren had provided him with so many pleasurable dining moments over his lifetime. By that time, my irate ex had made her way through the multi-lane street and as she arrived out of breath, I threw my camera at her and barked, "Take our picture!!!".

Well the ex is no longer a girlfriend, but I'm still in love with Tony. I just finished his latest book, The Nasty Bits, a collection of some of his best articles, essays, and work of fiction over his career. It's a thoroughly enjoyable book with all the candid wit that you would expect from Bourdain. My favorite chapter is Woody Harrelson: Culinary Muse where Tony writes about his absolute contempt for the raw movement (not sushi, mind you) that's spearheaded by quacks like the former Cheer's bartender. Here's a memorable excerpt from the book:

"First of all, why would anyone listen to Woody Harrelson about anything more important that how to be a working Hollywood actor or how to make a bong out of a toilet-paper roll and tinfoil? And who would listen to anyone who can visit Thailand - a country with one of the most vibrant, varied, exciting culinary cultures on the planet (including a rich tradition of tasty vegetarian fare) - and refuse to sample its proudly served and absolutely incredible bounty? What kind of cramped, narrow, and arrogant worldview would excuse shutting oneself off totally from the greater part of an ancient and beautiful culture?"


As someone who has to deal with the mumbo jumbo horseshit that comes from the colon cleansing, vegan, yogi crowd: AMEN brother, AMEN.

You can check out Tony berating more vegetarians on the new season of No Reservations starting tonight on the Travel Channel.

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