You finally convince that sexy 23-year old accountant to drop her deadbeat boyfriend and go out with you for a dinner and movie. Things are going well and somehow she agrees to head up to your loft for a nightcap. After a few drinks, some Jodeci playing in the background (adorably she asks if they're a new group), things start getting a bit steamy. Your mind starts to race on how you're going to explain this to your buddy, her boss, but quickly dismiss it as a problem for another day. She slowly gyrates and begins to slip off her skirt, and then...the horror: she's wearing granny underwear.
Unfortunately dear readers, this is becoming a more realistic scenario as the shitty economy has taken a real financial and psychological toll on people. The Washington Times reported that Victoria's Secret has seen their business drop leading to significant losses in the latest quarter while Hanes, freaking Hanes, the maker of your Mom's Playtex brand underwear is gaining market share.
As it is our mission to keep up the good fight in protecting all that is luxurious and sexy, we implore you to help this great country of ours from turning into a nation of frugal, grandma underwear-wearing, uggos. Please, go out and buy some lacy thongs or maybe a pair of boy shorts. And no, you can't buy them from Wal Mart.
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