I'm looking for something. Actually, I'm looking for someone. Perhaps one of you dear readers can help me. I'm looking for a girl who I can take on a first-class, five-star vacation, no strings attached. Not just any girl mind you. Skanks, drama queens, the unattractive, pro-ho's, and brain-dead need not apply. Instead, I'm looking for a girl who's clean, chill, preferably college-educated, has her own thing going, fairly attractive (not being unrealistic...7's and above are perfectly fine), and sweet (with a bit of naughtiness) that would like to go on a five-day, all expenses paid, tropical vacation filled with lounging by the beach/pool, great meals, plenty of drinks and a bit of kanoodling.
What's the catch? Nothing. Seriously. I'm just tired of going on trips where I'm the only one sans love/lust interest. It's actually starting to piss me off. And where would I take her if I found such a person? Perhaps to Jade Mountain in St. Lucia. G Luxe friend Shadinsky found this place recently and suggested that we think about vacationing there in 2009. It sounded like a fabulous idea, except for the fact that it's a supremely romantic destination and I'm tired of cuddling with Crew Member Tandori on those types of trips. Hence my inquiry/plea above to find a travel companion.
So what's so special about Jade Mountain? First, let's start with the infinity pools. 24 of the 29 suites (or sanctuaries as the resort refers to them as) at Jade Mountain feature breathtaking infinity pools that range in size from 450 to 900 square feet. Think about that: you wake up and step into your own infinity pool located IN YOUR SUITE (!!!) where you can spend the next few hours frolicking with your special travel companion.
Next are the views. The resort is situated about the private estate of Anse Chastanet with 600 acres of lust tropical vegetation and bordering two soft sand beaches that feature pristine coral reefs just off shore. The fourth wall of each suite is intentionally missing so that you are able to fully embrace the views without having to step out of your suite.
Excellence continues with the food as the resort's "Jade Cuisine" is created by Chef Allen Susser, a James Beard award winner. And of course, the spa is top-notch with a full menu of services that can also be provided within your suite.
As I was writing this post, Crew Member Tandori called me from London. I was telling him about Jade Mountain when he responded, "Oh I've been there. Amazing place. However, I checked out after a couple of days and moved to another resort". Want to know why Mr. Elitist insisted on checking out of this amazing resort after just two days? Because there wasn't direct beach access. Now, there is beach access mind you. The wonderful staff at the resort will happily drive your pampered arse down to the beach in one of their carts, however, such inconveniences were apparently too much for the Sultan Tandori. Life must be tough.
Rates start at about $850 during the off-season and can go up to $1650 a night. I'd be more than happy to spend that kind of cash if one of you dear readers find me my perfect travel companion. Book your stay at jademountainstlucia.com or you can try to find a deal at luxurylink.com. We recently found a 5-night package being auctioned at four grand below retail. Check out travelers' reviews at tripadvisor.com.
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