Pimp Vegas Suites

If you're truly a baller and not simply a pretender, you've got to do it right when you visit Las Vegas. That means NOT staying at some standard room you booked on sale at Hotwire or paying your uncle a few bucks to borrow his crappy off-strip timeshare. No my friends. To be a true Vegas high-roller, you'll need to book yourself (or get comped) at one of the Top 10 Luxury Suites in Las Vegas as reviewed by our friends at DealBase. Our personal favorite? The Hugh Hefner Sky Villa at the Palms. If it's good enough for The Hef, it's definitely good enough for us.

Green Sex Toys

Did you know that your favorite sex toy could be bad for the environment? Go figure. As Eco to the People so eloquently puts it:

"Close your eyes and make a mental picture of how many vibrators are clogging up landfills right now simply because of a dead motor. Scary image, isn’t it?"

Actually, it's a funny image...but I digress. If you don't want your self-pleasuring ways to destroy the environment, consider taking advantage of
Jimmyjane's motor replacement guarantee. They're also offering a $25 credit if you post a photo or description of you "decommissioning" your old sex toy.

We're wondering if our Green Crusader friend Callie will take advantage of the offer. Just kidding Callie.

Puma Gumball 3000 Racing Shoes

The 11th running of the Gumball 3000 is set to begin in May. As an official sponsor of the coast-to-coast rally, Puma is releasing a limited-edition driving shoe called the Speed Cat 2.9 Mid Gumball. With a name like that, you know these are some bad-ass kicks. Gumball participants will be getting a free pair but if your ride isn't one of the 120 signed up to participate, you can pick up your own for $105 here.

via autoblog.com

Shanghai Motor Show Girls

Crew Member Tandori recently spent some time in Beijing...not sure why...sounds kinda shady. Nevertheless, he couldn't contain his enthusiasm for the number of beautiful modelesque looking girls that work in the city. I guess all those ceremony girls had to find jobs after the Olympics. Looks like a few of them got jobs as car show girls as evidence by the lovely ladies at the 2009 Shanghai Motor Show. Check out some additional pics at Autoblog.

Simply Bad Ass

For our SEAL friend Doug. Glad these guys are on our side.

Richard Branson, Our Hero

So why is Sir Branson our hero? Because even though he is the head of a large, successful, multi-national corporation, he is not above posing for fun, cheeky photos of himself windsurfing with a sexy and oh-so-naked model strapped to his back. We love his "fuck you, I'm rich attitude". Seriously, what's the point of making all that money and being successful if you can't have some fun?

via dailymail.co.uk

Here is Another Worhtless Financial Article

Link to Worthless Financial Article

Only an idiot would consider these “tips” earth-shattering. Save some money, don’t go into personal debt, invest. No shit Sherlock.

Here is the stupidest quote of the article…in my humble opinion:

“On the same note, Smith says that even though she's a millionaire, no one would know it--and that's the point. She recommends saving at least 10 to 25 percent of your income. She also suggests avoiding buying "status" items, such as fancy sports cars or mansions. After all, bling doesn't make a millionaire--and in fact, too much of it can prevent you from ever becoming one."

You can probably imagine why someone who runs a site like G Luxe would strongly agree with this quote. I'm sorry, but if it wasn’t for “status” items, my arse would be more than happy working at a cigar store making 12 bucks an hour and all the stogies I can smoke. The only reason I've chosen not to do that and instead worked hard to get a good job that affords me a good living - which by the way, contributes a good chunk of dollars to the economy through the taxes I pay and the stuff I buy - is that I do want to buy an Audi R8 and someday I would love to buy a good 'ol fashion mansion.

In fact, we should be telling our kids:

"Hey, want to live like a rockstar? Want to be able to jetset like Diddy? Work your ass off, study hard, save some money, invest, and the world will be your oyster."

If some schmuck had told me as a kid to study and work hard so that someday I could be a "wealthy" 45-year-old coupon clipper driving some 15-year-old BMW that I bought used, I’d tell them to go fuck themselves and go back to playing my Nintendo.

If you’re fortunate enough to make a good living, already saving 25 percent (or more), then go live it up. What a pathetic existence if you save all that money and your only memories when you're too old to wipe your own ass (yes, I've been gratuitous with the word "ass" in this post) is of eating at Rubios during Taco Tuesdays.

Btw, I know the picture doesn't really relate to the post...I just thought it was funny.

A Really Goode Job

Here is a great gig for Crewmember Shadinsky if he was willing to take a pay cut...The Murphy-Goode Winery is offering "A Really Goode Job" that pays some web-savvy wine-lover 10 grand a month and private housing for a six-month period. The successful applicant will get to learn about wine and winemaking, in particular Murphy-Goode wines, and use web tools such as Facebook, Twitter, and blogs to share what they've learned. Sounds simple enough. I wish I got 10 grand a month for running G Luxe. If you're interested in applying, go to areallygoodejob.com.

via luxist.com

Arturo Fuente Black Label Forbidden

Hey guys, sorry for the lack of posts during the last few days. I was busy in New York for a few days of way too much drinking, eating, and smoking. What makes that any different from my normal days? Well its New York, and everything is cranked up a notch in the Big Apple. I'll share a little more on my gastro-adventures in a bit, but first...

Check out this Black Label Forbidden cigar by Arturo Fuente that we found reviewed on Cigar Inspector. At $80 bucks a stick (that's 80 freaking bucks!!!), this is probably not going to be your everyday smoke. Made of the same blend as their Opus X line, the Black Label Forbidden is only available at the Casa Fuente in Las Vegas (one of our favorite hangout joints). As expected from an eighty dollar Fuente cigar, the Forbidden received five stars from the guys at Cigar Inspector. Maybe we'll convince Crew Member Tandori to buy us some next time we're in Vegas.

Need an Excuse to Buy Some Louis Vuitton? Save the Earth

In honor of Earth Day, which I'm assuming is today, Louis Vuitton is donating 15% of all online purchases to The Climate Project, a non-profit started by Al Gore whose mission is to "increase public awareness of the climate crisis at a grassroots level worldwide". I'm assuming Republicans will abstain from purchasing any Louis today.

Loafers by To Boot New York

I'm off for a few days of business and pleasure in New York City and since I've got to look fly whenever you travel to the Big Apple, I decided to pick up a new pair of dress kicks. After a quick consultation with Israel, my shoe dude at Nordies, I settled on this pair of simple yet stylish slip-ons by To Boot New York. These shoes are perfect for my trip since I'll be able to dress them up with a suit yet will look right in place with a dark pair of jeans and a sport coat. You can pick up your own pair for $295.

Sasha Grey is a Great Girlfriend

Some crossovers suck. Others, like Sasha Grey who will begin her hopefully not-permanent foray into mainstream movies from hardcore porn, do not. Well, actually she does, but in a good way. Her upcoming film, The Girlfriend Experience, where she plays the role of a $2,000-an-hour escort (quite a stretch I'm sure), will make its premier at the prestigious Tribeca Film Festival. For a little tease, check out the trailer below.

BTW, $2,000 for an hour of sex is just ridiculous. Especially in a recession.



via examiner.com

Hottest Hotels of 2009

Looking for the coolest places to lay your head in 2009? Look no further than Conde Nast Traveler's Hot List for 2009. In addition to hotels, they've got lists for the hottest nightclubs, restaurants, and spas. I just stayed at the Se Hotel this weekend which made the list. Review to follow soon.

via perfectescapes.com

The Encore Rules

I have a new favorite hotel on the Vegas Strip: the Encore is Steve Wynn's latest property located just a poker chip throw from his namesake resort. A few of my work buddies flew into Vegas last week for a mid-week celebration for a small deal we recently closed. We decided to stay at the Encore after they offered some incredible rates on their rooms including a free night with $150 slot credits (offered to Wynn Red Card members).

I fell in love with the resort as soon as I stepped through the front door. Pleasant doormen are those simple touches that are important in a luxe hotel and the gentlemen who greeted us did their part. As you walk in, what you notice first is the amount of natural light in the hotel compared to most other Las Vegas casinos. Although we unfortunately came during the coldest, gloomiest day of the entire month, there was still plenty of light coming through the windows that surround the pool area located at the center of the resort. The result is a feeling of relaxation that you definitely don't experience at most Vegas resorts.

The excellent customer service continued at check-in where an adorable Filipina smiled throughout the process and readily accommodated our request for higher floor rooms. We proceed up to our floor and as we exited the elevator, we dug the black and red color themes of the hallways accented by the pastel portraits of flowers that hung on the walls. We entered our room and were happy to find the spacious, modern, and oh so comfortable accommodations that we were accustomed to at Encore's sister property. The beds are to die for and the perfect place to lay your aching body after a night out of debauchery. You'll also find a curved sofa ideal for entertaining friends/strippers, a flat screen in the main room and bathroom, and I think I even saw a fax machine somewhere.

Although global warming decided to take a break the day we landed, our SEAL friend Doug, possibly inspired from last weekend's pirate take down, insisted we check out the pool. When a SEAL says to do something, we do it, and risking hypothermia we even went into the water. Now they say the pool is heated but my shriveled boys in my swim trunks beg to differ. After just a few minutes, I got the hell out and decided to spend the rest of the time in the lounge chair ordering drinks from our has-to-be-a-model pool hostess.

Before heading out for the night, we grabbed a few drinks at one of the casino bars. The drinks were fine, but what was really spectacular were the hostess and waitresses that worked there. Goodness. Why these girls are working at the Wynn and not signed with some modeling agency and/or at the arms of some billionaire still escapes us. And keep in mind, this is the Wednesday night crew. One can only imagine the talent on the weekends.

Chill, luxe, sexy. That could be the motto for the Encore. I'm at that age where I'm sick and tired of the frat-like nonsense that you find at the Palms or Hard Rock Resort. Hanging around a bunch of loud-mouth, Ed Hardy-wearing, reality show rejects is not exactly how I want to spend my vacations. Those type of pricks are definitely fewer and farther between at the Encore - although we did find one at the jacuzzi bragging how he stays at the hotel two weeks at a time raping the hotel from his blackjack winnings.

We'll definitely be back at the Encore and we're looking forward to checking out their nightclub XS. We're sure that's going to be spectacular. Oh, and the best part: unlike the Wynn, we got no grief when we asked for a 1PM checkout. Go Encore.

photo via perfectescapes.com

Guinness 250 Anniversary

As you read this, I'm probably passed out in Las Vegas - hopefully in my hotel room at the Encore and not in a strip club - from way too much alcohol consumption. In fact, since I decided about a week-and-a-half ago to go on a three week pseudo spring break, I've had more beer than most self-respecting frat pledge. With another 10 days or so before the end of my vacation, there are still plenty of steins and growlers to put away.

One beer that I'll definitely have to add to the drink list is the limited edition Guinness 250 Anniversary Stout which was created to celebrate the 250th anniversary of the lease signing of the famous St. James' Gate Brewery in Dublin. According to the guys at Uncrate, the beer is fizzier, maltier and has higher alcoholic content than regular Guinness. A six pack costs $10 and will only be available for the next six months.

Lenny Kravitz the Photographer

Lenny Kravitz is not only a great musician and first rate lover of women, he apparently is a pretty damn good photographer. His latest photos are featured in the April 2009 issue of Vogue Russia, including candid pics of fellow uber-stars Alicia Keys, Beyonce, Jay-Z and my personal favorite, Lionel Richie. Yes, I like Lionel Richie. Check out the other photos at Stylefrizz.

Where a Man Can Still be a Man

As I write this, I'm sitting on my comfy couch sipping my pre-work day coffee and smoking a tasty cigar that I received recently from Crew Member Drewsky. It makes me quite sad and angry that possibly in the not-to-distant-future, my couch may be one of the few places where I can legally light up a cigar. In fact, if the anti-smoking Nazis have it their way, I may not even be allowed to smoke in my own home either. Those fucking bastards.

Well before that apocalyptic day arrives, there are fortunately still a few places in the country where one can enjoy a good cigar in public. One of my absolute favorite places is The Palms in Tysons Corner, Virginia. "Tysons Corner, Virginia???" you may ask. Well, yes, Tysons Corner, Virginia. I have to spend quite a bit of time out there for my day job but I don't mind since it's quite a ritzy part of the country with plenty of great restaurants, shopping and lovely, high-powered ladies (I love a strong woman).

So what makes this particular Palms such a great place? Because, it is one of the few places left in the country where you and your compatriots can show up, grab a seat at the bar, order a perfectly cooked medium-rare bone-in rib-eye along with a stiff drink, and light up a cigar. Does that not sound like heaven dear readers? It still blows my mind that we in America, the land of the free, can barely exercise our right to enjoy a bloody piece of meat with a hand-rolled cigar. Gawd only knows what would happen to the free world if they had a no-smoking policy at 10 Downing Street during World War II. We'd all be speaking German and saluting a picture of a dickhead with a funny mustache.

While I don't believe smoking is permitted in the main dining areas - and that's OK, because we cigar smokers are generally a considerate bunch - the bar area is a cigar lovers haven. As soon as you walk in the main door, you smell the waft of sweet tobacco and hear the boisterous crowd of power brokers, bankers, and all sorts of characters blowing through their per-diem good steaks and wine. If you're able to find a place to seat in the typically busy bar, you'll be gruffly welcomed by one of their no-nonsense yet jovial bartenders and waiters. Be a man, don't bullshit around asking what kind of specials they have that day or whether they serve fish. They might just throw you out after they smack you in the face with a porterhouse.

And just like any good cigar-friendly venue, there are plenty of ashtrays and matchbooks and even tucked away section where you and your friends can enjoy your vices on a comfortable couch.

I usually arrive late at night, straight from Dulles Airport after a long cross-country flight. As soon as I'm seated, I don't even have to look at the menu: bone-in ribeye, medium-rare, side of mushrooms, and a Guinness. As soon as the drink arrives, I take a sip, light up a Padron 5000 Maduro, take a few puffs, and just smile.

Address:
1750 Galleria at Tysons II
McLean, VA 22102

Phone:
(703) 917-0200

Not That I Need Another Reason to Buy a Porsche

This is a funny and sexy Porsche commercial.

Girl Flashes Porsche | Viral | SPIKE.com

Are you a Gastrosexual?

First there was the Metrosexual (that would be Crew Member Drewsky). Now comes the Gastrosexual. According to the Urban Dictionary, a Gastrosexual is:

- A man who sees cooking as a hobby and not just a chore.

- Deeply passionate about analysis and innovation and creativity in cuisine.

- May often dress like a metrosexual, and itsn't afraid to explore his artistic side and even feminine side through cooking.

- Men who use their culinary skills to impress their friends and potential love interests.

So ladies, what do you think about a man who is a Gastrosexual? If you likey I may have to start taking some cooking classes.


via seriouseats.com

A Stimulus Plan That Would Actually Work

Instead of spending almost $800 billion, we should just have a bunch of sexy lingerie-wearing models parading through or city streets. Somehow I think this really would stimulate spending.

Sexy Stimulation Package | Viral | SPIKE.com

Omega in NYC

Omega will always have a special place in my heart as it was the first "nice" watch I've ever bought. A couple of years out of college, I scraped together $1,500 and bought myself a blue-faced Aquaterra. No matter that my dear friend Callie referred to it as my Fossil watch. Ouch. Recently, I gave that time piece to my younger brother who was looking to upgrade from his Banana Republic watch. Since I am SOOOO far away from having kids of my own, that was probably the closest I'll come to handing a watch to the next generation.

Recently, Omega just opened their new Fifth Avenue store in NYC where you'll be able to find my Aquaterra along with classic pieces including the watch worn by JFK during his inaugural address and a platinum version of the Speedmaster Professional Apollo.


via selectism.com

All I Want for Christmas is a Porsche GT3

Porsche just released the 2010 version of their GT3 street-racer. In typical Porsche fashion, there aren't too many changes on the aesthetics front. The latest incarnation comes with a flat six powertrain generating 435 horses and 317 lb-ft of torque that powers the 911 from 0-60 in just four seconds and maxes out at 194 mph.

Now all I need to do is save $112 grand by Christmas.

via jalopnik.com

High Grossing Tao

Tao Restaurant and Nightclub in Las Vegas topped the list for the highest grossing independent restaurant in 2008 with sinful foodies dropping $68.4 million on food and drinks at the Venetian eatery. The G Luxe Crew has dined there in the past. It's a large, impressive venue and I think the food was good. To be honest, I was a bit smashed at the time so the 99 cent cocktail shrimp special would have tasted like gourmet cuisine.

via bloomberg.com

First Class on the Cheap

If you're tired of traveling with the Greyhound rift-raft in coach, but have recently seen your balance sheet and bonus comp decline substantially over the past year, check out this article on MSNBC to learn how to get premium seats on the cheap. No one should have to travel coach.

Another Reason to Hate Tom Brady

Just look at what that bastard gets to wake up to every morning. See more of Gisele in the May issue of Vanity Fair.

via fashionindie.com

Iron Man Would Wear These Shoes

You figured by now, in the year 2009, there would be shoes that would help you jump like Lebron or run like Adrian (Peterson). Well you'd be sorta right. Porsche Design's Bounce:S shoes come with a system of metallic springs that are designed to increase energy return when you run on them. What does that mean for you? When the lever arms are engaged, they "transfer the vertical impact of your stride into forward propulsion". We couldn't find anyone online who's actually tried the shoes to see if the claims are true, but even if they aren't, these are still a good looking pair of shoes.

via core77.com

Be A Man

It doesn't matter whether you're straight, gay, Democrat, Republican. There are some basic traits that every man should have. In this month's issue of Esquire, Tom Chiarella tells us what those traits are. Below is a quick excerpt. Man up, read the rest of the article, and see how far short you fall of being a man.

"A man carries cash. A man looks out for those around him — woman, friend, stranger. A man can cook eggs. A man can always find something good to watch on television. A man makes things — a rock wall, a table, the tuition money. Or he rebuilds — engines, watches, fortunes. He passes along expertise, one man to the next. Know-how survives him. This is immortality. A man can speak to dogs. A man fantasizes that kung fu lives deep inside him somewhere. A man knows how to sneak a look at cleavage and doesn't care if he gets busted once in a while."

Mischa Strips

Could Mischa Barton afford to eat a couple carnita burritos to add a few lbs to here slim frame? Sure. But we love her anyways. In the April issue of FHM UK, she embraces her inner stripper and gets down to her skivvies.

via trendhunter.com

A Frenchman to Admire

As Esquire crisply states:

"Nicolas Sarkozy. Cigar smoker, star-fucker, president."

That is our type of guy, French or no French.

Ferragamo Maldive Sandals

Crew Member Tandori vacations in the Maldives more often than a sixty year old Filipino woman goes to an Indian Casino. It's really not fair. To his credit, he has offered to fly me out there to siesta with some of the lovely ladies he usually has accompanying on his Maldivian excursions. The only thing stopping me from getting out there is my fear of 30 hour airplane flights. Hopefully I'll someday get over that nonsense, and when I do, I'll be stylin and profilin on the white beaches in these Maldive Sandals by Ferragamo. Made with rubber soles and criss-cross straps complete with the "Ferragamo" logo, these sandals will protect my feet from the hot sand while keeping me looking oh so stylish. Purchase a pair for $150.

Poor Hef

You've got to feel sorry for our hero Hugh Hefner. Here is a guy who has lived a life that most of us can only dream of filled with beautiful women, wealth, fame. And now at the ripe old age of 83, he realizes that his time on paradise is probably almost up. So he tries his damn best to keep the party going as long as possible, but as this picture of 'ol Hef on his 83rd birthday shows, the mind and loins may be willing, but the body is no longer really able. Poor Hef.

via tmz.com

Lucia Micarelli Makes Me Love the Violin

A few weeks ago when I was laid out on the couch with the flu, I caught this great concert special on PBS featuring trumpeter Chris Botti as he performed live in Boston with an all-star cast of guest performers including John Mayer, Sting, Katharine McPhee (gawd she looked amazing) and Steven Tyler (incredible rendition of Smile that he sang for his Dad). It doesn't matter what your musical tastes are, you need to check out this concert. Amazon.com has a great deal where you can buy a CD/DVD combo for only $15.

However, the concert itself is not really what this post is about. What, or rather who I want to point your attention to is 26 year old violinist Lucia Micarelli, who I absolutely fell in love with as I saw her perform with Mr. Botti. There is nothing more attractive than a talented, successful, and sexy woman. We're hoping Maxim convinces her to do a photoshoot with fellow violinist hottie Vanessa Mae. Man, that would really get me into classical music. Check out the video clip of Ms. Micarelli below.

Burberry Gold Aviators

I just sent my very button-downed, conservative Pops these gold square aviator sunglasses by Burberry complete with leopard-themed arms. Hopefully they will bring out his inner pimp and inspire him to pick up a matching velvet hat and maybe even a pimp stick. You can buy a pair for $225.

Hottest Vegas Pools

With summer just around the corner, the Vegas pool scene is once again set to blow up with throngs of bikini-clad coeds ready to invade the various hotel pool destinaions for daylong carnal binges filled with plenty of sun and body shots. The decadent, yet informative folks at UrbanDaddy have recently compiled their list of favorite Sin City pools. The pool I'm personally most interested in checking out? Well it has to be the Rio's Sapphire Pool which was designed by the Sapphire Gentlemen's Club, a G Luxe Crew favorite.

Psycho Bunny Billfold

We absolutely love the irreverent luxury styling of Psycho Bunny. Those kooky Brits have teamed up with Ettinger of London, a 75-year old purveyor of quality leather goods, to create a line of leather billfolds. We particularly dig the simple black version with a mustard yellow interior. Of course, the exterior is embossed with the Psycho Bunny skull and crossbones and Ettinger logos. Buy one for $345.

Bling Cigar Bands

We love cigars and we love bling, however, we really don't love the blinged out cigar bands by Ysenberg. They're kinda tacky if you ask us. However, if you like them, you can get one in silver, gold and silver golf plated with all sorts of personalized engravings. We'd rather spend the cash on some good smokes, thank you very much.

Scary Spice is Sexy

Admit it fellas, you dug/dig the Spice Girls. If Scary Spice, aka Melanie Brown, aka Mel B is your favorite Spice Girl, you need to head over to the less than luxe Planet Hollywood Resort in Las Vegas where Ms. Scary will be performing a burlesque show called Peepshow. The 33-year-old mother of two will be performing as Peep Diva for the next three months, singing and dancing in various stages of undress. In addition, former Playmate Kelly Monaco is also in the show performing as a sexy Bo Peep. Man, that sounds like a whole lot of sexiness. We might have to check it out.

via dailymail.co.uk

Porsche Design Multihammer

We're still not sure whether the Multihammer by Porsche Design is a tool or a sex toy, but whatever it is, we want one. According to the company, the Multihammer (what a cool name) marries the power of a pneumatic hammer with the functionality of a hammer. With this manly toy, you'll be able to chisel or drill your way through stone, wood, concrete, and even metal. And since it's from Porsche Design, it'll look good whether you're doing some home remodeling or making a fetish home video.

Bond Museum

If you're a Bond fan, you're going to want to make your way across the Pond to Cumbria, England where the world's first Bond Museum has just opened in a former supermarket. The collection of Bond vehicles and gadgets, which include a convertible Triumph Stag from Diamonds Are Forever and a Russian T55 tank from Golden Eye, are all owned by former dentist Peter Nelson.

via bbc.co.uk

Shoes, Shirt, No Service

It looks like those crazy Germans love be in the buff. A group of investors are looking to open the first hotel in Germany specifically catered to nudists, ironically enough in a town called Freudnstadt which translates to Town of Joys. Unlike your typical hotel where intentional or unintentional nudity is usually frowned upon, guests at the future Hotel Rosengarten will be required to naked at all times while on premises. We're not sure what the penalty will be if you accidentally keep on a pair of socks or something.

via spiegel.de

photo via pillowsandpancakes.com

Love Sex Magic

Seriously, how hot does Ciara look in this video?

Things You Should Say at Work

Sorry friends, I royally messed up my ankle playing bball so I've been spending the last couple of days with my leg up on ice and drowning the pain with a healthy blend of ibuprofen and Heineken. That's why I've been slacking on the posts. In the meantime, enjoy this little bit of office humor and I promise to be back shortly:

40 things you would like to say at work

1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.

2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

3. How about never? Is never good for you?

4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.

6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.

8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a damn word you're saying.

10. Ahhh....I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.

11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.

12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a damn.

14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?

20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

23. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?

24. Do I look like a people person?

25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

26. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.

27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?

29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?

34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

36. Chaos, panic, & disorder-my work here is done.

37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?

38. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.

39. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?

40. Oh I get it... like humor... but different.

Safari Air

As proof that green luxury isn't necessarily an oxymoron, Safari Air has set out to be the world's first green luxury private jet charter service. Starting on October 15th, Safari will be offering it's 21-day "Around the World Grand East Africa Safari" where for the bargain-basement price of $144,500, you can join seven other passengers aboard a Gulfstream IV jet for a 25,450 mile journey of a lifetime. Starting in Orange County's John Wayne Airport, you'll jet set around the globe with luxury stops in Quebec City, Edinburgh, Cairo, Agra-India, Hong Kong, Guam, and Honolulu. As the name of the vacation package suggests, the pinnacle of the trip will be a two-week African safari through Kilimanjaro, Tanzania and Kenya.

So what exactly makes this seemingly global-warming-inducing journey green? Safari Air will purchase carbon offsets for each passenger mile. A slighter bigger stretch on the green front is their claim that by flying relatively short daytime flights, jet lag will be minimized, creating a "leisurely eco-friendly around the world experience" for their passengers. Not sure about that last one so we'll probably have to check with our Green Crusader friend Callie to see if their claim makes sense.

If you're looking to impress that raw-food eating, tree-hugging, former model girlfriend of yours, drop the three hundred grand and book yourself a vacation on Safari Air.

Palin Who?

Forget Mrs. Hockey Mom. Want to see some real sexy politicians? Spanish newspaper 20 Minutos recently conducted a poll to determine the sexiest female politicians in the world. Check out the list here. Our favorites include Mara Carfagna (Italian Minister for Equal Opportunities), Yuri Fujikawa (Japanese politician who posed in a bikini to promote tourism), and Eunice Olsen (former host on Wheel of Fortune, now an MP in Singapore). Yes, we love brunettes.